I’m getting to that age where I am getting two or three wedding invitations from friends a year and where everyone I know seems to be either married, on track to getting hitched, or in some sort of linear long term relationship.  One of the oldest traditions in human society is celebrating lasting relationships.  My parents just celebrated their 30 year anniversary in May with a trip to the tropics.  Every culture has had there own was marking these special occasions over the millennia and today the prevailing custom is gifts on the day of the annual anniversary.  So, in light of some up coming nuptials which I am sadly 10,000 miles to far to get to, I dug into the history of anniversary gift tradition to enlighten and possibly amuse.

In the United States, the wedding anniversary symbols begin simply, with paper and flowers, and gradually increase in substance and value. The order of gifts reflects the investment that the couple gives of themselves to each other. In Germany, by comparison, couples use a list of symbols that represent the progressive  strengthening of the marriage relationship.  The practice of giving peculiar gifts on various wedding anniversaries originated in Central Europe. Among the medieval Germans it was customary for friends to present a wife with a wreath of silver when she had lived with her husband twenty-five years. The silver symbolized the harmony that was assumed to be necessary to make so many years of matrimony possible. On the fiftieth anniversary of a wedding the wife was presented with a wreath of gold. Hence arose the silver and golden anniversary.  This practice, borrowed from the Germans, has been elaborated upon in modern times.

with a growing middle class Victorian wedding etiquette became more elaborate

The modern custom of celebrating what was once referred to as the “anniversary wedding” can be traced back to the Victorian era.  Although no one is certain how the traditional list of symbolic anniversary gifts originated, it is likely that the Victorians, so fond of cataloging and classifying, were the first to adapt ancient heathen customs into a prescribed list of gifts for each wedding anniversary.  Early on only a few of the anniversaries that we recognized today were included.

well loved Etiquette book of Social Usage by Emily Post, originally published 1922

Emily Post listed “eight anniversaries known to all” in her 1922 Blue Book of Social Usage [listing 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th, 50th, and 75th anniversaries]. Mrs. Post then went on to report that “until comparatively modern times, the eight anniversaries were all that were acknowledged.” She then recognized the trend toward celebrating additonal anniversaries and listed a symbolic anniversary gift for each of the first fifteen years of marriage and one for every five years after that. This is the basis for the lists we use today.

In 1937, the American National Retail Jeweler Association used this history to issue a more comprehensive list, which associated precious materials for each anniversary year up to the 20th and then each fifth year after that up to the 75th bringing people into their shops on an annual basis.  The way they presented it to Americans is that stability deserves a reward and the more stability the greater the reward should be. 

And so, without further ado, the annoted list of traditional anniversary gifts for the thoughtful couple. DISCLAIMER: This is the traditional list of gifts so, some may be inappropriate in todays modern age.  It is about the spirit of the tradition.  For things like ivory or coral maybe instead of killing something rare and beautiful, go on a trip like a safari or tropical get away.

1st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Paper

2nd Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Cotton

3rd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Leather

4th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Fruit or Flowers

5th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Wood

6th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Candy or Iron

7th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Wool

8th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Bronze or Pottery

9th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Pottery and Willow

10th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Tin or Aluminum

11th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Steel

12th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Silk or Linen

13th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Lace

14th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Ivory

15th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Crystal

16th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Silver Holloware

17th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Furniture

18th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Porcelain

19th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Bronze

20th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: China

21st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Brass or Nickel

22nd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Copper

23rd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Silver Plate

24th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Musical Instruments

25th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Silver

26th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Original Pictures

27th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Sculpture

28th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Orchids

29th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Furniture

30th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Pearl

31st Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Time Pieces

32nd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Conveyances

33rd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Amethyst

34th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Opal

35th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Jade

36th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Bone China

37th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Alabaster

38th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Beryl or Tourmaline

39th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Lace

40th Wedding Anniversary 

Traditional Gifts: Ruby

41st Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Land

42nd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Improved Real Estate

43rd Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Travel

44th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Groceries

45th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Sapphire

46th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Original Poetry

47th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Books

48th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Optical Goods

49th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Luxuries

50th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Gold

55th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Emerald 

60th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Yellow Diamond

65th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Star Sapphire, Gray

67th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Star Sapphire, Purple

75th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Diamonds, Diamond Like Stones, Gold 

80th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Diamond, Pearl

85th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Diamond, Sapphire

90th Wedding Anniversary 
Traditional Gifts: Diamond, Emerald

95th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: Diamond, Ruby

100th Wedding Anniversary
Traditional Gifts: 10K Diamond